Confession

When two avoidants meet

This morning, I am exhausted. I played two nights in a row, and my body is reminding me I’m not a 20-year-old anymore. However, there’s this thing about not letting Sunday go by without publishing here that compels me to look in my box for hidden gems I could have written.

I found this today. It’s one of those poems that you tweak and tweak until one day you stop and let it rest. Then, when you reread it, you love it. In it, my childhood came knocking, and all the things I’ve ever forgotten resurfaced and greeted me, reminding me they’re still there.

I confess 
wanting to look away,
but gravity pulls my eyes
toward your voice.

I confess 
thinking it doesn’t hurt inside, 
pretending
while I tell my childhood
to keep quiet.

I confess 
I want to sit there in silence 
because our words forgot
how to speak.

I confess 
when you pronounce words
with your half-smile.
I cut and paste the pieces
to make full ones.

I confess 
I said, “take care”
instead of “I love you,”
fearing your child would run,
leaving me to wonder
why Mom forgot 
to pick me up again.

I confess 
I tried to leave you, 
but my stubbornness
punished me so badly I spied on you 
while you breadcrumbed me 
                                                    incessantly.

I confess 
after writing these lines,
after closing
my eyes while butterflies
caressed my chest.

I confess what I have failed to do;
Through my fault, my own fault,
through my most grievous fault,

I confess
I have a minuscule hope,
a very improbable idea
that you 
               keep a similar confession.

Arnaly Arriaga Blanco – December 23, 2024

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Welcome to my suitcase of memories and creativity. I’m Arnaly, a citizen of many places, and I want to share my experiences growing up in Venezuela, as well as my fun experiments in creative writing.

I became a writer the day I realized there was no more space for thoughts in my head, and I needed to set them free. I write both fiction and non-fiction: in "La Maleta de Arnaly," I share my personal stories, and in the section "Life Wayfaring," I write hybrid stories, allowing my imagination to roam free and blend with reality. I am a fan of Magic Realism and love to use it in my stories. In the section “The Un-Poet”, I express my feelings in the shape of, hopefully, poetry. In my newest section, “The Typewriter,” I am journaling my experience as an aspiring writer.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you can join me on my journey as I traverse the world and take you with me through my stories.

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